Earning Trust

One of the Training Sessions we often do with leadership teams is on TRUST. Teams are assembled and quickly become interdependent, requiring collaboration to accomplish intricate tasks. This demands a certain level of trust. Teams often discuss the need for trust within their members. Some people readily extend trust but remain vigilant for any signs of it being broken. On the other hand, some individuals are more cautious, taking time to build trust gradually, as it's something that's earned over time.

Here is the catch: Trust is acquired in various ways as individuals seek different attributes based on their values. Also, Trust isn’t a fixed state. Trust is directional. We are making small decisions that lead to increased or decreased trust. We are always either building trust or diminishing trust. That is why we need to be aware of HOW that happens for different people.

Even if you aren’t familiar with our work in the Enneagram you have probably witnessed what I’m going to describe here. 

Time is a universal element when it comes to gaining or losing trust, and that's something most of us understand. However, there are three additional factors to take into account: Character, Competency, and Care. Each of us assesses these three aspects, but in varying orders of importance. While we recognize the significance of all three, we often focus more on one of them when initially gauging the level of trust we have in someone.

Character: Consistent Actions

Care: Considerate Emotions

Competency: Coherent Thoughts

*(If you are familiar with our work in the Enneagram you can probably see how the Body types first look at Character, the Heart types first look at Care, and the Head types first look at Competency.)

I’m going to break each of these down a bit more:

Character: Consistent Actions

We all want to know that people are genuine, truthful, and kind. Our perception of someone's character is crucial. When it comes to Body types in the Enneagram, character is mainly about aligning words with actions. If you express or believe certain things but don't act accordingly, it leads to doubt.

Character is built on a history of actions. I trust someone when their deeds match their words. While you might be compassionate and knowledgeable, I still need to have confidence in your consistency and reliability to carry things through.

What matters first is, “I trust them to do what they say.”

Trust Gained

• Communication is honest and actionable.
• You’re known to do the right thing when nobody's watching. 
• Track record, history, and reputation matters.

Trust lost:

• You may care for those you work with and understand a lot but I’m not seeing follow-through.
• You didn’t do what you said or made excuses. 

Care: Considerate Emotions

We all need to know that people have our best at heart. People can't express themselves openly if they fear negative reactions. People need to feel safe in three key areas: physical, mental, and emotionally. Although everyone needs these to some extent, Heart Types in the Enneagram typically prioritize emotional safety. When your words don't match your feelings, it breeds distrust. If these people feel unsupported or overlooked, they don't feel safe and can't trust the environment enough to fully engage.

Even if you're skilled and consistent, neglecting the well-being of your colleagues can erode trust. If I believe you don't care about those you work with, I won't trust that you'll act in their best interests.

What matters first is, “I trust they are for me as a person.”

Trust Gained

• You see the people and not just the task. You demonstrate care for others.
• Your words and emotions match which makes me feel cared for and safe.
• You are thoughtful and perceptive about people.

Trust lost:

• Even if you are skilled and consistent, you will lose trust if you aren’t considerate of those you are working with.
• If I don’t think you care about those around you I won’t trust that you will do what is best for your teammates. 

Competency: Coherent Thoughts

This speaks to the ability, the talent and skill of someone to accomplish a task. A lack of this will cause distrust. For Head types, this shows up as not only the ability to successfully accomplish a task but in ones ability to think deeply, to have a consistency in their thoughts that shape out a larger mental model of the world that suggests a smarter way of feeling and working. If someone does a task well but doesn't demonstrate solid thinking behind it, Head types lose trust. 

I trust you when I feel you understand what I’m saying, understand what we need figured out, and can think through whatever comes up. I trust your ability to analyze and problem solve. 

What matters first is, “I trust them to think things through.”

Trust Gained

• Demonstrate solid thinking behind actions and decisions. 
• You understand what I’m saying, understand what needs to be figured out, and can think through whatever comes up. I trust your ability to analyze and problem solve. 

Trust lost:

• Inability to communicate your thoughts or make sense of your ideas. 
• When I don’t know you “get it” and haven’t thought through every angle.

So Remember! Each of us cares about all three, but we usually have a primary focus and a secondary preference. That's perfectly fine. We can skill-build in all three areas, and as we do, we'll earn trust and influence. It's important to recognize that we won't excel in all three equally, nor is that the goal. That's why working together with others who excel in different areas is valuable. Don't hesitate to invite others to join you in leading through all three.

Find out more about working with our team HERE.